It has been said that it is not what happens to us in life but how we respond to what happens to us that is important. Life is unpredictable.
Things may be going along hunky dory, then life can take an unexpected turn. When the unexpected happens, be it small (breaking a vase) or large (losing a job), what is your self-control like? Is your tendency to beat yourself up (berate yourself) or feel sorry for yourself (why did this happen to me)? Or do you lash out with anger and resentment?
The more we can respond to life with restraint, the less of a rollercoaster ride we put ourselves on. It is not healthy to go to extremes of any kind. The more “reactive” we are to an unexpected or unwanted situation, the more fuel we are putting into that situation. Conflict and emotion rarely solve anything. Staying calm and composed within – even when we don’t have a solution or things look uncertain or bleak – is a healing balm we give to ourselves. By contrast, consider the angst and upheaval that being out of control causes!
Answers rarely come to us when we are anxious or in a state of confusion. When we need help, the first thing to do is to help ourselves by keeping our equanimity. For self-preservation, it is important to know the value of having peace within. From that place of inner calm, we can find a way out of what is bogging us down. Some suggestions for getting unstuck from stressful situations and having more self-control are:
- Ask yourself, “What is happening? What am I experiencing?” Identify what “it” is.
- Ask, “Why am I experiencing this? Is it 100% true, or is it a story I’ve bought into?”
- If you are pointing a finger at someone else, gently redirect your attention to yourself.
- Ask, “What can I begin to let go of to make more room for my higher good to come in?”
- Be patient and trusting toward yourself and life. Let the universe work in your favour.
It is important to feel “in control” of ourselves, not out of control. We may have to be willing to look at what we do to ourselves. We can’t expect different results if we keep doing the same old things. If we have habits that work against us feeling good, then we are the only ones who can change that. We may have to work at it. It is definitely within our power to change. Realize the value and benefit of changing your behavior versus the high cost of remaining the same. Then take one step in a new direction.
